Monday, June 30, 2014

I am a {Goo} Hoarder . . . Among Other Random Ramblings

I recently heard the term 'goo hoarder'
And it basically is a girl who collects all sorts of beauty products
Lotion, lip gloss, shampoo, conditioner,
perfumes, body wash, nail polish etc
And I must admit
I am a goo hoarder
Among other things
But to start with I have twenty plus bottles of half used lotion

I have at least 15-20 half used lip glosses
I have so many body spray/gel/soap things
I have at least 50 different nail polishes
even though some with an untrained eye
might say I have many of the same color

{the above are just what is out and not what are in boxes}

You would think
I was trying to drown in good stink or something
In addition to all that I have regular perfumes 
A dozen bottles at least
Half finished of course
I have a drawer and a makeup case filled with makeup

{again, just what is in the most accessible places and not what is in boxes}

I have several bottles of shampoo and conditioner
As you may have guessed
half empty each of them
And the list goes on and on

I have realized I am a bit of a hoarder in other areas as well
Is this a bad thing?
A normal thing?
A girl thing?
A mom thing?
I dunno

I have an issue with hoarding movies
I have a crap-ton
Especially of the animated Disney variety 
And I can't not buy one when I go shopping

I also hoard photos
I take them like my life is going to get away from me
And I have the hardest time deleting them off my phone
Even if they are severely blurred
or are completely pointless
Like a picture of one of my girl's feet
Seriously, one day I probably won't even remember 
whose foot it was
Let alone the moment it was taken
or even why it was taken
so I should delete the photo
so hard

Period Talk Ahead

Do YOU know what SUCKS?
Getting your period
The full on PMS three-five days prior
Bloating, swelling, cramping, headaches, hot flashes

Then finally you get some spotting
and you know you're in for the long haul
even though you hope and pray
that it will just stay some residual spotting
But no, within the day or so you are bleeding like a sieve
Wondering if you might die from massive internal hemorrhage
Laying in bed with a heating pad on your pelvis
Because burning the shit snot out of your belly
is the only way to take the edge off the pain
Then having to endure it all for the next full 7 days
No no
It's not over there
For most it would be over there
And any normal girl could go on with her life
for the next 3 weeks until it happens all over again
I gett a 3 day reprieve
And then outta the flippin blue
The cramping
curled in a ball on the bed
returns with a vengeance

What I want to know is;
How does my uterus hold all of that?!?!
I have no clue
They (whoever they are) say
that one 'menstruation' actually only releases
about a tablespoon of blood

Tell that to the pad that is overflowing
The underwear and pants that are completely ruined
The bed sheets that either need to be bleached 
(kill them with fire)
or hidden from anyone's sight. EVER
One tablespoon my big butt

So, yeah

I am on day 4 of the 'return of the period from hell'
I am hoping she is on her way out
Or I might be on my way out

Maybe THAT is why my foot is still swollen?
Nice idea right?
When the bleeding stops, so will the swelling
Somehow I am thinking not
I dunno
Just an inkling
I'm never that lucky

On that note
. . . . . . . . .

Some photos of my princesses

Goodnight World

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