Sunday, July 6, 2014

The Saturday from H.E.L.L.- O, I'm From Hicksville

I thought today was going to be a boring, stay at home kind of Saturday where the girls and I stay in our jammies all day and they pretend to be good and well behaved children - until the sun rises and then all hell breaks loose because suddenly all of their needs MUST BE MET NOW . . . There would be a bunch of knock down, drag out brawls and I would end up threatening a ton of things I would never follow through with (because I'll admit, taking their iPads away is more of a punishment for me than them) and the only time they would be civil toward each other is when they were eating.

Thankfully, my sister must have felt it in her bones that I needed to get out today though - because I may or may not have borderline hermit tendencies - and so as my girls and I were eating breakfast she asked if we would like to go to BuyBacks (a cool movie trading, buying, selling place) to see if they had How To Train Your Dragon (the first one) and a few other fun movies.

Whoop whoop!!! I felt like I had been asked to go to Disneyland because this mama doesn't get out very much - remember the borderline hermit tendencies? Soo, the four of us spent a glorious hour inside that movie heaven picking out fun movies to watch.

(and trying to distract my children every time we would pass a SAW movie or another equally disgusting horror cover)

We ended up getting The Mummy, Epic, Ever After and The Corpse Bride even though there were a ton of other ones we need to go back for. In addition to hermit tendencies, my sister and I both may or may not have an unusual compulsion to buy movies and books.

So, we bought our movies and decide Chipotle was on the menu for lunch. Yum!

If you don't know Chipotle is the newest innovation in healthy fast food. It's basically like a Mexican subway where you choose between a bowl, burrito, tacos or salad and then add your respective meats, cheeses and toppings.

The only problem was when we arrived though was that the line was out the flippin' door and apparently there was an unreceived memo on my part (probably on purpose - geez) that to eat there you had to be wearing booty shorts and a bikini top. I felt completely over dressed in my jeans and top.

So we stood in line where my girls proceeded to their obligatory 5 and 6 year old complainings.

I'm freezing

My legs hurt

I'm starving

My skin itches - Oh yeah, did I mention Sassy had another allergic reaction to sunblock. Yeah, well I'll write more about that in a bit.

Anyway the complaints continued on and on for the entire 25 minutes we had to stand in line. In the mean time I was able to waste time by having the girls pick a table, wipe it down, lay out some napkins and silverware and straw (that my sister later got double of because she was too busy texting to notice I had even left the line - haha)

When it was our turn to order I asked what the difference between a Kids Taco and a Kids Taco kit was. Apparently that was a very difficult question because the girl at the start of the food assembly line had to shout out to everyone, "WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN KIDS TACO AND KIDS TACO KIT?"

After about the fifth time she shouted it, someone told her it's the difference of one taco or two. So I ordered the kit and she proceeded to ask me, "What do you want for the sides?"

Me: What are my options?

Her: Rice and beans or that. **she gestured down the row of condiments and toppings but didn't give specifics**

Me: What is that? ** and I mimic her**

Her: Beans or Rice or that! **She is getting frustrated with me**

Me: Can you explain what exactly THAT is?

She just stared at me like I'm speaking an alien language.

Me: Just give me beans and rice.

She scoops on the beans and rice and down the assembly line it goes. I proceed to order Sassy's steak quesadilla and then my own bowl and then my sister orders her. We decide that I will pay for the kids and she will pay for us. When we get to the taco toppings I ask them to put pico, cheese and sour cream on Breezy's tacos.

Another her: Oh, you already got your sides.

Me: What?

Another her: You have a choice of rice or beans or the stuff that goes on the taco.

((face palm)) I mean really, what kind of restaurant is this???

Me: Can I pay extra for the pico and cheese and sour cream?

The girl looks around her like someone else will answer me and then avoiding my eyes, nods and says, "I guess so."


After that whole fiasco they forgot Sassy's quesadilla, proceed to hand me the burning hot foil it is wrapped in when I ask for it and completely forget the rest of her meal. I have to walk them through the process. Can I have those please? MmmK THANKS!! 

Then it comes time to pay and no matter how I word it, they just DO NOT GRASP THE CONCEPT that the two kids meals are being paid for separately from the two bowls for my sister and me. So, my sister ends up paying for the whole shebang. ((grr))

Afterward we head to Sheridan's Frozen Custard which is just DE-LISH-OUS!! And also where Breezy proceeds to get chocolate custard all over her new dress and my sister dropped a big glob on her cute wallet. The hazards of ice cream - I'm tellin' ya!!

And then we came home to relax and by relax I mean sit down to watch a movie (Ever After) while children are yakking a million miles an hour, kitties are up and down off the couch - I want to lay on you, I don't. I want to smurgle your boobs. I don't. I want to smell your hair and lick your face and bite your eyebrows. Okay, I don't. And my favorite, I want to stand on you with my razor like little feet supporting my bulbous 16lbs body directly on the most sensitive part of your leg. Yes, I think I will do that for as long as you don't scream at me to GET OFF!

And that was our Saturday. What coulda, woulda, shoulda been a minimally stressful, somewhat relaxing, and enjoyable outing turned into a super fun, but super stressful, super annoying and super silly outing only reminding me once again that this city girl isn't in Los Angeles anymore. Nope I am deep in the muck and mire of Hicksville - where we have a poop farm and everything.

Can't wait to see what tomorrow has in store!

Church ... Unless Sassy's rash gets worse.

Because as I mentioned, we put sunblock (albeit baby sunblock) on her yesterday and she has broken out like crazy. We had our first realization that she might be allergic to sunblock when we went on THIS trip and ended up in the ER in Anaheim with massive red and heat radiating chipmunk cheeks. Now, again, she is an itchy, scratchy, whiny little mess. I feel so bad for her. I knew better but my family convinced me. That is no excuse. I'm mama. I should not be swayed by familial peer pressure when it comes to my babies but I didn't want her to burn in the sun either.  I have learned my lesson. No sunblock for Sassy. EVER.

And on that note, she fell asleep on the floor so I must relocate her to her bed where she will be more comfortable and less likely to have carpet indentations later. Goodnight world!

PS- Yes, I went a little .gif happy
PPS - No, I don't care if you think it's annoying 


  1. I guess that makes two of us with the sunblock issues. My youngest has broken out twice from two different sunblocks. One was Coppertone regular the other Coppertone kids. Apparently there is a fragrance or something in there that his skin HATES. He got red, itchy, swollen angry rash. I put aloe on it and it went away after a couple of days. So, we have to make sure to get Banana Boat kids sensitive or fragrance free Equate. Another option is to order some from a company (I think Rodan and Fields plus a few others sell it) of sensitive sunblock. I don't remember who wrote about it, but another blogger did that I follow. Thinfluenced, maybe? Anyways, don't give up sunblock, just try to find one that she can use. Good luck!!!!


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