Saturday, August 9, 2014

Binging & Purging

This week
I have been undergoing a process of binging and purging
and no
I don't mean with food
Maybe in the future I will be more open to detailing this process
but for now 
I am thinking of it as simply
binging and purging

Tomorrow marks a day that I hope I will remember for a long time
August 10th
Not significant technically
Not a birthday
or an anniversary
It isn't special to anyone I know
except me
At least I hope it turns out to be that way

Tonight
as I sit here and type this
I am going through a myriad of physical and mental anxiety
My eyes are burning
I am overly warm, bordering on sweating
(I think I may need to turn on the AC)
I ache
everywhere
My chest is tight
and I think my head might be starting to hurt
I am sure it doesn't help that I have been staring at my computer
pondering this post for the better part of the evening
after my girls went to bed
(and watching Breaking Bad on Netflix)

What do I write?
Do I write anything?
Everything?
Why do I even feel the need?
Why wouldn't I feel the need?

So, tomorrow
begins something
something I have never experienced before
something I hope is as mind bending
and ground breaking as I imagine it will be
Prayers
Fingers crossed
or whatever it is you do to bring goodness upon yourself and others
is greatly appreciated right now

Until next time . . .

1 comment :

  1. I hope what ever it is goes well for you girl. And sending prayers and positive thoughts and vibes your way. I have a date that I celebrate but I'm the only one who remembers it. And it may seem weird to others but to me its something I always remember.

    http://faithhopelove02.blogspot.com/

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