Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Confessions of 1000 Posts

THIS IS MY 1000th POST!!

And what better way to celebrate my 1000th post
than with Humpday Confessions?!
and Ian of course


Food Confessions

// I have been eating everything under God's sun

//Ev-er-y-thing



// I haven't really even felt guilty about it

// I just keep thinking, 'FEED ME ALL THE FOOD'

// and then I feel gross and push it away and wish I could go purge somewhere

// but I hate throwing up

// So, I don't



Clothes Confessions

// I have been wearing the same shirt for 3 days now

// I am not even kidding

// I don't even feel gross about it

// thankfully there are no stains; food, pit, or otherwise



// It's comfy and I feel like crap . . . 'nuff said

// on the other hand, I have had to change my pants like eleventy billion times

// because this cough I have causes a bit of incontinence

// ok, a lot of incontinence

// so, I am constantly peeing myself

// no fun, no joke, don't judge me


Ex Confessions

// I am feeling supremely anxious

// I keep waiting for some kind of ball to drop

// Then I think maybe it is just my medication which has anxiety as a side effect

// but why hasn't he gone to the visitation place?

// if he's gone, why haven't they called me?

// what is he planning?

// what are his evil schemes??



// Yes, I realize I am completely effing up the whole 'confession thing'

// DEAL.WITH.IT


Health Confessions

// The nurse practitioner told me a side effect of my meds would be bitchiness

// I'm feeling the bitchiness

// in spades

// Aaand . . .  my period won't go away

// It just keeps taking it's time coming and going, ebbing and flowing

// my guts hurt

// I can't tell if it's from the shit I'm eating or the super toxic medicine

// AND.I'M.HOT

// Lord help me during menopause cuz mama does not like this



TV Confessions

// I finished ALL.THE.EPISODES of Breaking bad in a few weeks

// I finished ALL.THE.EPISODES of Orange is the New Black in 1 week

// I tried Weeds . . . (not to be confused with weed, because I've never tried weed) but I just can't get into it



// I am hooked on Mistresses though

// Did anyone else see it coming that Daniel is FBI?

// I'm anxiously awaiting White Collar, Parenthood, The Bachelor and um . . . some other shows


Jealous Confessions

// My sister applied for an internship at Disneyland


// I simultaneously want to steal her life and cry because that means FREE TICKETS

// FREE DISNEYLAND TICKETS



// If you don't know what this means to me, you.don't.know.me.at.all




Gross Confessions

// I have three new scars on my boob

// long.story

// three course black hairs found

// side effect of steroid? hmmm 

// aforementioned hairs plucked . . .  apparently with violence

// because I made minor wounds

// wounds that turned scabby

// and I am a recovering picker

// #UGH



Morbid Confessions

// In a fit of panic I wrote out a Guardianship 'Will' for my girls

// You know in case I die

// And now I can't stop thinking about how I could die

// I don't want to die

// So, I'm not gonna



Fun Confessions

// errr, emmm, ummm . . . let's just look at all the hotness . . . mmmk?
(if these men aren't your thing . . . well tough)















Vodka and Soda


5 comments :

  1. FREE DISNEY TICKETS??!?!?! I'm so jealous!!!!!!!!!!
    Scab pickin is a thing.. an amazing thing. scars are sexy though, own that.
    As for watching Weeds, I watched the first 4? 5? seasons and then never watched anything after the season where she was on probation. I was just over it. Not even my OCD-must-finish-what-you-started-brain cared... Same thing with Breaking Bad.

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  2. Oh Paul! I was feeling fat yesterday...and hard core craving jalapeno ranch dip the day before...to the point where I opened a can with a spoon (hard work) & stayed up late just to make it...and then my boobs hurt...and then I realized they were all related & home girl over here is getting here period...which also explains my being emo. I hope you feel better soon!

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  3. I can relate in sooo many ways! Ex Confessions especially...it will get better. I mean, don't hold your breath or anything crazy like that, just know that time WILL help and things WILL improve!
    I love Mistresses. I was blindsided by Daniel, but I really hope they figure out a way to get back to eachother. I think they both have...or had genuine feelings.
    My sister did the Disney internship and LOVED it.

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  4. Wait! We are suppose to feel bad about wearing the same shirt 3 days in a row? Opps!

    -Kate
    www.theflorkens.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. yikes am i late to this post! so sorry; work has been up my ass 24/7 and i'm trying to catch up.

    first of all, ian gifs. thank you. he's so gorgeous.

    i wear my home clothes all week if it makes you feel any better. as in i get home, take off my work clothes and put on my home clothes. which are actually my pajamas #notevensorry

    thanks for linking up!

    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda

    ReplyDelete

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