Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Ticked Off Tuesday (Adult MEME-age)

Around this neck of the woods cow town
It doesn't take much for me to get huffy and puffy
It doesn't take much for me to whine or complain
It doesn't take much for me to groan and bitch
But IT DOES take a lot for me to get MAD
I literally have to be pushed HARD to get really mad


And last night I was MAD
Why? You might ask.
Well, why else?
If not for that POS ex-husband of mine



I will rewind to the beginning of today
so you can get the full effect of my frustrations
It was a good day
Started with coffee and breakfast 
and kids and gossip with Gramma
just like it should
just like it has for the last 5 years
Completely un-stressful
Fast forward through finishing spring cleaning the girls room
Fast forward through watching many a few
episodes of Breaking Bad
Fast forward through lunch
And finally toward dinner time

There was a familial encounter that left me slightly on edge
No big deal
These things happen all.the.time around here
This too shall pass

Then we go to the park
So much fun
There is a massive play structure
and in-ground fountains
The girls had a blast
It was great except for the creepy dude
Who basically stalked the entire park the whole time we were there
and eventually came over to talk to my Gramma and me


My Gramma got up to coral the girls
spooked as much as I was
He told me his bike tire had popped
I said 'Bummer'
Inside my heart was racing
Come ON people
I have been watching BREAKING BAD for a month now
I saw bad things happening here
He then asked me if I had ever seen America's Got Talent
I nodded
Swallowed
Checked to see where my girls and my Gramma were
Looked down at my feet
Checked him out the corner of my eye
Looking where his hands were
where he was looking
It was totally bizarre
He said he could do contortions like the people on the show
I nodded
(and probably grimaced a little)
He asked if I wanted to see
I shook my head
Told him that contortion creeps me out
He looked genuinely disappointed
and apologized?



He went on to talk about how he had popped his bike tire
allegedly on broken glass
I told him he should call his family
He told me they were all asleep
(It was 6pm - Totally NOT buying it dude)
I said nothing else
He eventually got the hint
that I was not going to offer my help
and moved on continued stalking the park
My Gramma and the girls and I high-tailed it out of there
But not before my Gramma nonchalantly
sat down next to one of the moms who was alone
and very beautiful
NOT A GOOD COMBO,
PEOPLE,
WHEN CREEP MISTER MISTER IS ON THE PROWL
and very nervous as she glanced at the guy
My Gramma told her about him
She said she had seen him watching everyone
and that he was making her nervous
My Gramma suggested she leave soon also
She agreed
It was all very strange



We left for frozen yogurt
It was delicious
But I was disappointed to see
I went over my 1500 calorie goal
by about 300 calories
My own fault for not calculating my intake
before actually consuming my food



So, if it isn't clear yet
I am on edge from a family fight
I am on edge from freak-a-zoid at the park
I am upset because I have gone over my calories

And then Mr. A wants to talk to the girls
No big deal
FaceTime is an amazing invention
Where he can see them
speak to them
and yet there is no potential physical harm
and if it becomes verbal or mentally abusive it can literally be shut off
instantly
BEAUTIFUL
Unfortunately, I almost had to resort to that tonight

They spoke for a quite a while tonight
Which mostly includes Sassy making a clown of herself
'performing'

1) because she doesn't have anything to say to him
2) he barely ever initiates conversation
3) when a conversation is initiated one way or the other
he speaks so little English
he has a hard time comprehending what she says half the time

Breezy tries to hide from the camera
because she simply has no.interest
in speaking to her sperm donor father

Finally, it came time to say goodnight
and Sassy asked him if they could sign up for Fall Ballet
Which he had promised they could
Returning her question with a question of his own
He asked if I had taken them to Dizzy Castle
with the money he had given me to do so
He looked highly skeptical
and asked as though he expected her to say no
She said yes
Because I did
I even wrote about it on Breezy's birthday

AND THIS IS WHERE THIS MAMA'S HORNS
RIPPED THROUGH MY SCALP
MY IRISES TURNED DEVIL RED
AND IF I COULD HAVE I WOULD HAVE BREATHED FIRE


Because the SOB had the NERVE
to tell Sassy in an entirely all too angry voice

"Don't lie to me!"

It took me a minute to compose myself
By the time I did Sassy had already told him she wasn't lying.
And he had the balls to say to her,

"Don't you lie to me. Because if you do . . ."

Because if she does . . . what mofo
Seriously, I'd just love to hear the end of that one
All the threats
and all the anger focused at me
from our marriage came crashing down on my head
and how I felt about it
all came tumbling out
as my reaction to what he said to her



I turned the iPad away from her and snarled
{because yes, I snarl when I'm angry}

"DON'T YOU EVER ACCUSE HER OF LYING.
DO YOU HEAR ME?
EVER!"

He was immediately defensive
Of course
It's his MO
to deny what he had so blatantly just done

"I didn't accuse her of lying."


"TWICE!"
I barely managed,
wanting to chuck the iPad against the wall
hoping it would somehow morph into his head
just by my sheer will

Sadly, that didn't happen

I let him tell Sassy that he would let them take ballet lessons
and then told her to say goodnight

I talked to Sassy about the whole incident afterward
and she was sad that he had spoken to her that way

WHICH OF COURSE PISSES ME OFF EVEN MORE



Thankfully
I was able to distract her from it
because we have a great bedtime routine
even in the summer
a bit of Disney channel and tickling and talking
then they lay in my lap and I hold their hands
while I sing on loop
their favorite lullabies
until they are fast asleep

Now,
this Mama's gonna lay the smack down
if that POS SOB ever says anything like that to my girls again

And to make sure my nerves are COMPLETELY frayed
My mom almost hit a deer tonight
on her way to pick up some medicine for me

I won't go into detail
but for those of you who don't know
the consequences of hitting a deer
or swerving to avoid hitting a deer
can be very very very bad

Wanna know how bad?
READ THIS ARTICLE
The woman is a teacher's aide at my daughters' school
Her son
in addition to having steel plates set in his face
wires to hold his teeth in his jaw 
and other ungodly surgeries to repair the damage
has to re-learn all of his basic motor functions
It is a very very sad situation
Prayers for their family are greatly appreciated

I am deeply thankful to God
that my mom did not hit the deer tonight

Until next time . . .


3 comments :

  1. I don't even know what to say! She's not even my kiddo and that faint haze of red creeped over my eyes! What a complete and total A$$!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. We have a splash pad and moms started noticing a really creepy man and notified the cops.. turned out he was a known pedophile and was arrested.. always trust your gut!
    OMG your ex sounds like a Dbag! I hate ex husbands!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oye! Just Oye. Just OYE! LOL I have been following you for years and know majority of the ups and downs and I am SO SO SO glad you are able to see things from this side now. :)

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...