Thursday, September 18, 2014

Tears and Miracles

First, thank you to those who e-mailed and PMed me
about disappearing
and not making a peep
I apologize for my hiatus

I am still sick

Breezy is having a hard time with separation anxiety at school. She went through her first day of school which was on a Thursday and then an entire week of school just fine. But starting the day before yesterday she hasn't wanted me to leave and cries after I do. Thankfully my Aunt works at the school and her teacher is exceptionally qualified not only as an amazing kindergarten teacher but a mom of a couple kids around the same age. The aides and teachers there go above and beyond the call of duty, lavishing kiddos in hugs and support. 

(She attends a private school and I am so thankful because all the hugs and affection might call negative attention in a public school - once again God has truly blessed my girls to go to such an amazing place of education) 

Anyway, this mommy's heart has been broken between Tuesday and today. My Aunt (who, like I said, works there) told me that Breezy did all her work in class with tears running down her face and then in music she sang all the songs and did everything she was supposed to do with tears running down her cheeks and then they had a BLESSED FIRE DRILL. And the excitement somehow brought her out of her little depression and for the remainder of the day (about 1.5 hours) she was a content camper. Thankfully she does not have school tomorrow so there will be a bit of an emotional reprieve for both of us. She was so excited to know she gets to spend it with me - which heals my broken mommy heart significantly.    

On that note, something happened today that made me see the world in a clear, revitalized way. For the past weeks I have really been struggling with how to pay this month's bills. Money is not exactly pouring in and I was really trying to scrounge and pull out all the stops. But the river ran dry pretty quickly. I obviously have options but none of them are easy and some of them would be downright painful so I prayed. I waited. I prayed. I started to resign myself that nothing was going to change and this next coming week I was going to have to make some really really difficult decisions.

Then, tonight, while at gymnastics with Sassy and Breezy and my Gramma, my Gramma pulls an envelope from her purse. It is from some extended family. Specifically my aunt's in-laws who are like my grandparents but also not. It is a very unique family dynamic. Anyway, I opened the envelope and inside was a card. This is not unusual. My uncle's mother is very sweet and loves to send loving cards especially when she feels it on her heart that someone is in need of encouragement or love or support. Another tidbit you should know is that these people are not rich. They aren't really poor either but they live meagerly on a veterans salary and SS income. So, there really isn't a lot of extra income to be spreading amongst the masses and they just gave $50 to my cousin (who they are blood related to) who is turning 13. That being said, I opened the card and almost fainted. Inside, folded once and tucked neatly into the fold of the card was a $100 bill. I almost cried but was able to stop myself in front of a room full of gymnastics parents. 

I have never felt so blessed as I did in that moment. To know they were thinking of the girls and me. To know that God allowed them to see or feel my need. To know they were able to help me, without even knowing that I REALLY REALLY needed help. I was awe-struck and flabbergasted. I still am, but thrilled and elated and SO, SO, SO very thankful. 

And that is where I must leave off . . .
One more week day left and then sleeping in . . . I love sleeping in . . .


  1. Aww, I hope Breezy starts to not be so sad at school. Prayers for you and your girls.


  2. My heart was breaking as I was reading about Breezy crying in school. I know as a mom it makes you feel helpless. I am glad that she did manage to bright up some and she gets to spend the day with you.

    As for your unexpected gift, that is just proof that Prayer does work. God Bless you and your family and especially the givers.

  3. I know it's only been about a week, but wanted to check in with you. Hope you are FINALLY feeling better!!!


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