Friday, October 24, 2014

Get it all Out

*Warning - this may initially seem like another depressing post. 
It's not. 
Just in case you skimmed and groaned haha

Through the summer I followed blog prompts 
and my posts remained for the most part, light and carefree 
Then started the school year 
my body refused (and still refuses) to get better 
things started happening in the world 
that caused me fear and anxiety 
and THEN I turned 30

I haven't blogged in approximately 13 days
And there is so much I could blog about
so much I wish I had the energy to get off my chest
and out of my mind
The unnecessary death of a Canadian man
The unnecessary violent act on a New York Policeman
Ebola
And the crazy panic that all social media and news media
seems to be trying to provoke

I could write about how I have had extreme stomach pain
from the extra acid my gut produces when I am stressed
I could write about the low-grade migraines that have plagued me
when I think too long and too hard about the horror 
I could write about the tears I have cried
or the sleepless nights
The dreams when I do sleep
and waking up only to be haunted by those dreams
through the entire day
But I won't talk about all that because I realized something today

My mind was so cram packed full of this garbage that
it just kind of imploded and disappeared
There is a name for this
Some might call it
'coping'
others might call it a
'breakdown'
still others might call it
'denial'
I call it
God's grace
God's beautiful wonderful and comforting grace
I have been so caught up with fear and anxiety 
of what is happening to others in other places with other circumstances
That I haven't even taken a moment to step back and analyze the facts

My family is safe
I am safe
My family is healthy
I am healthy (relatively) 
And even if these two things were to change
God is in control
and I MUST ALWAYS REMEMBER this


On a lighter note
I turned 30 eleven days ago
3-0

When the heck did that happen?
I was just 15 getting in trouble for dating someone 9 years older than me
I was just 20 moving from California to Washington
I was just 21 and moving to Mexico
I was just 22 and getting married
I was just 24-25 and having babies
I was just 26 and getting divorced
I was just . . . living a life that is basically over

30 is gonna be an awesome decade
I refuse to let it be anything else



So, on Wednesday my mom, my sister and my aunt
took me out for Mexican food and drinks
and it was the best stinkin' 30th birthday party ever
Let me just say that Caribbean Pina Colada is simply amazing
I had 2 . . . one with dinner 
and one for dessert
The waiter thought he was pretty hilarious
He kept asking me if I'd like
'another dessert'



Then they embarrassed the heck out of me 
by placing a sombrero on my 'too big' head
(because I have an abnormally large head and hats just.don't.fit)
and sang happy birthday in Spanish
to which I was tempted to sing along 
because I know the words
but haven't had the opportunity to sing them since I lived in Mexico

"Que bonita esta la manana . . ."
ok you don't want to read the song

Here is a photo dump of what we have been up to
other than birthday festivities:


MISSING THE SUN
It's all foggy/rainy/cloudy now
But I don't miss the 90 degree weather 


WE'VE BEEN TO THE PUMPKIN PATCH THRICE
AND HAVE A BOAT LOAD OF PUMPKINS TO CARVE THIS YEAR
(LIKE 8)


EARLY CHRISTMAS COOKIE BAKING IN PASTEL COLORS
(I THINK THEY LOOK LIKE PLAY DOH)



EATING OUT 
BECAUSE MAMA HAS HAD NO ENERGY TO COOK




FIELD TRIPS TO
WHERE ELSE?
THE PUMPKIN PATCH

And
Lastly
Let's just say simply
OMG

#fallTV

because
OMG
I am seriously obsessing over a zillion shows right now

Parenthood
Vampire Diaries
Greys Anatomy
Bones
(what the hell Sweets? I'm gonna miss you dude!)
Once Upon a Time
Forever
(very intriguing new show)

I'm going to start watching
SCORPION
because my mom says it frickin' rocks

and the list goes on and on
jumping into reality shows like

Survivor
and
Dancing with the Stars

Soon, hopefully

The Bachelor
(with Chris from the last season of The Bachelorette)

will be on

and my TV watching, Netflix binging 
life will be complete

Forward

PS - Thanks for reading! 
With this new URL I am at over 100,000 views! 
I am shocked and appreciate those who read very much!
If you haven't before, give a shout out!
Especially you - the person from Simi Valley :D


1 comment :

  1. Good on you for remembering God has got it all in hand. It's hard to remember sometimes - I have to (try) to remind myself of this on basically a daily basis. And hey, the thirties are better than the twenties. :) Happy (late) birthday.

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