Monday, November 17, 2014

Catching Up and . . . Coffee

Update in Bullets . . . and .gifs
I miss using .gifs

and this

  • I have lost 16lbs on this Primal Blueprint thing
  • and my ankles are no longer swollen
    Say what??

  • I took my introverted self to a baby-shower (well, I didn't take me. I carpooled) where I didn't know anyone (except the new-again-mama and one mutual friend) and I totally killed it . . . my energy level that is

  • I really am trying to branch out socially being that people I don't even know recognize me from everywhere now. It's not from my blog or my book and my kids aren't THAT popular at school (ok, they're pretty popular and that makes me a giddy) but not THAT popular. The problem with being known and not knowing the people who know you and simultaneously being a cautious/wary introvert is suspicion. How do you know me? Why are you talking to me? What do you want? It really ISN'T normal but I can't really help it either and all the unnecessary mental/emotional work makes me seriously exhausted . . .

  • I just learned how to use the grams setting on my food scale. YAY! Because hello, it's really difficult to measure 2 TBSP of mini dark chocolate SQUARES. Then I happened to notice my scale has a gram counter as well as a oz counter and BAM, whatdya know, but right next to the serving size that said 2 TBSP it said (15g). Oh hell, to the YES! No more trying to cram little chocolate squares into my egg shaped TBSP measuring spoon. God, that was so frustrating.

  • This week is Biz-ay!! Breakfast with co-room mom to figure out Christmas Party and potentially try to figure out January's Family Fun Night at the school. Breezy is being recognized for this month's virtue which is honor and also being named Student of the Month. Sassy has an oral report on her five senses where she is going to sing a song in front of her whole class and we have to prepare for the Thanksgiving Feast that is happening next Tuesday. Of course, I also have to do my normal stuff like clean and pay bills and do laundry (which is actually more tolerable now that on Tuesdays I have no children and I can watch my shows on Hulu while I fold and hang) 

  • I have a headache. I have been told it is about the time I will be going through the carb flu which is actually flu like symptoms due to restricting carbs. I am feeling kinda blecky so I am associating the headache with that. My cold eye mask is not helping and neither is the Advil I took. Wahh!!

  • Also, I was told I need to check into my 'gut health' and start taking probiotics in the form of kefir to some such thing. Any suggestions?

  • I finally read the handbook for my Bowflex! Now to use it! Has that happened yet? err, nope

  • And lastly, what the heck is up with this last week's Parenthood? Why was there no Joel and Julia? Like, not even a scene with them in it!! I was so bummed OUT!

  • And that is all for today's update
    I may or may not have drank an entire 21oz coffee while I wrote this
    I may or may not drink another in the near future . . . 
    Don't judge 

Monday, November 10, 2014

You Know What Sucks?

WHEN . . . 

Over a month ago you pledged to do better

You get on the scale a month later and know the weight will be up
not the same . . . not down . . . but up

You get on the scale and you're right

Your pants and underwear have been so strained for so long that the waistline is getting holes 

You own 20+ shirts and only 2 of them fit

All your clothes make you feel like a beached whale
even though it isn't really the clothes but your ever-growing size

When you get super motivated to DO THIS THANG at night and you wake up the next morning with ZERO motivation

(Ok, maybe it wasn't near death, but it felt that way)

And suddenly the mojo changes
the motivation returns
and this time it isn't JUST motivation

*Let me say here that this is my experience
You may be anti-low-carb
You may be pro-low-fat
You may be a vegetarian
or a vegan
or a pescetarian
or a Fast-Foodsian
I am not thumping my fist on the holy bible of eating here
I am simply telling my experience 
(because I am so excited) 
and how it is working for me
We can totally agree to disagree

That being said, I have been following The Primal Blueprint diet for a bit now

A bit meaning less than a week
because it was less than a week ago that my Dr. suggested I try it out

and I have lost 12lbs

12lbs in roughly 4 days


Even when I used to drastically cut calories and up my hydration

I never lost 12lbs of water weight or fat or any combo of the two

I am utterly floored

and the clincher is that it is EASY PEASY PUMPKIN PIE
(without the crust because #1 I hate pie crust and #2 you can't have the crust on Primal)

Let me say now that I am not endorsing this diet
for any other reason or compensation
than it is what my Dr. recommended and it IS working
and obviously I will need to maintain my efforts
to see if it continues to be as successful as it has been

That being said,
it doesn't take a whole lot of effort NOT to consume
bread and pasta and potatoes and rice
(not that these foods don't have nutritional value. They simply aren't in MY plan)
when you can have full fat options
whether it be dairy or protein
and yummy fruits and veggies and nuts to munch on
(no beans or legumes though due to their anti-nutrients leeching vitamins from the good foods)

I also have so much energy
I am not feeling lethargic or tired
which is HUGE
because I have been feeling lethargic and tired
for the last several MONTHS
I am actually (almost) motivated to start working out again
I have a Bowflex in my house and I have never used it
But as soon as I read the manual
(so I don't kill myself)
That thing is gonna be my b*t . . . best friend

On that note, and onto a completely other topic
ALL my shows last week hit me right in the FEELS
Namely #Parenthood and #Vampirediaries

Who wants Joel and Julia to get back together?

And Elena and Damon?
There circumstance is just WRONG!
But I think their love will (eventually) overcome the compulsion.

Thank you Oprah
Now I can at least sleep tonight

But seriously the writers of these shows I am watching
Know exactly what heart strings to pull
I seriously cried
The big ugly cry
with red bloodshot eyes
and elephant sized tears
during the elevator scene in Parenthood

I cannot wait for this next week's episodes
Now I am off to 
. . . do something else

Until next time . . .

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Turning Point

I'd love to be able to say I have a lighthearted post to share today. I'd love to say that but I can't. Instead I will tell you about what happened to me on Monday. It was absolutely insane and shows just how literally anything can happen to anyone at any time. But simultaneously, how God's hand is also in everything. 

I spent the morning doing a Bible study with my gramma. Then Breezy and I baked 3 ingredient peanut butter cookies. Around 3:00 we went to go pick up Sassy from school. It had been a good day thus far. I felt good and happy. Everything was normal. Nothing was amiss. In the car as we drove Breezy asked to listen to a CD so I put one on and we started singing to it. 

That's when my head started swimming and my ears got hot and turned numb and then my hands went numb and my vision began to grow dark. I had come to a stop at a stop light as all this was taking place and in a panic I pulled my cell phone out of my purse and unlocked it shakily. I asked Breezy if she thought she could call 911. She asked me why but I couldn't answer her. I was too preoccupied by the fact that I could no longer keep a grip on my phone and it fell out of my hand. 

I panicked. My vision was growing darker by the millisecond. It felt like two magnets were slowly drawing toward the bridge of my nose from all directions of my head, bringing with them a dark sheath to make me disappear. I felt like I was losing touch with reality and yet also hyperventilating. My heart was pounding out of my chest. In a matter of seconds a million thoughts flashed through my mind from, 'I should try and cross the intersection to get to the doctors office who was across the street' to, 'I'm going to have a stroke or heart attack and die here in front of my baby'. 

Then, without really thinking, (I honestly don't remember the idea coming to me or when I decided to do it) I laid on my horn and signaled as best I could for the woman stopped at the red light beside me to lower her window. She did so, hesitantly at first. I understood. I would have been wary also. I started crying. "I think I'm going to black out! And my daughter..." And this is when God placed his hand on this very special human being in the car next to me to be His/my angel. 

Once she realized what I had said, the woman did not hesitate to stop 2 lanes of heavy traffic to get out of her car to help me. I think I did black out for about 30 seconds or so because the next thing I knew she was standing at my drivers side door, finishing up with 911, smoothing her hand again and again down the back of my head and telling me to lean back and breathe. Just breathe. She asked me if she could call anyone else and it was all I could do to get out for her to call Sassy's school (I told her the name) and to have her stay there with my aunt (who works there) I know the woman was also trying to get me to keep talking because she kept having me repeat what I was saying.

Then the ambulance came and Breezy was so brave about it all. She stood at my feet in the ambulance and held my leg as they did an ECG and blood sugar tests and all sorts of other things that I was really too out of it to register. They asked me if I wanted to go to the hospital and by this time my gramma was there, my aunt had picked Breezy up to take her home and I wanted to go home too. I was feeling a bit better (ie: not really better at all but not like I was going to lose consciousness at any moment) and I wanted to make sure Breezy was okay. I was so worried that she would be emotionally traumatized because it all must have been awful for her to witness and experience. 

So, the paramedics released me and we started to drive home in my gramma's car. Almost immediately I had another 'attack'. I couldn't breathe, everything was closing in. I felt like I was disappearing. It was awful. I really thought I was dying. My gramma called 911, and the ambulance returned did another ECG, placed an IV and off to the hospital we went where I spent the next 7 hours having blood and urine tests, blood pressure tests, a cat scan of my head, multiple more ECGs as well as a saline drip to hydrate me. 

My ECG and IV wounds: 

Pretty right? haha

I went through all of that for them to tell me I had an episode of syncope (fainting) 
No sh*t Sherlock, right? 

Anyway, apparently other than this 'episode' I am the picture of health. With blood, urine, ct scan and everything else looking completely normal. So, now I must pray that it doesn't happen again AND I pray that the woman who helped me knows how very very much I appreciate her. Truly one of God's Angels set directly beside me at the moment I needed her most. I wrote the following note in hopes that somehow it would reach the angel converted into human being through this blog or my Facebook account.
On the off chance that you are reading this, I just want to say thank you. You could have been anyone else; someone in too much of a hurry, someone unconcerned with other's problems, a person too scared or unwilling to help a stranger, someone without a cell phone, someone who didn't speak English. You could have been anyone else but I believe God put you in that car next to me on Main Street in Battle Ground. I believe He removed all fear when I laid on my horn to get your attention and started sobbing with my own fear of what was happening. You could have driven away, after all the light had turned green, but you stayed to help me. I believe He blessed you with the knowledge and grace and calmness that you so graciously bestowed on me when I needed it most. Thank you from the very deepest depths of my heart for what you did without question or doubt or fear. You are the definition of the good left in humanity. You restore my faith in human empathy and sympathy. Thank you again and even if I never know your name and am never able to tell you in person I will always remember your face and how you were a hero to my daughter and me.
The rest of this week has been a bit of a roller coaster. In addition to the actual cause of the syncope being unknown I have additional anxiety of the instance happening again which makes me nervous to drive. I have found that driving with the windows down, cold air blasting and talking as I drive helps immensely. Yesterday I was actually able to drive a significantly longer distance than I had been able to the two previous days which made me feel much more confident that maybe I was getting over this 'thing'.
In an effort to do everything in my power to dissuade this kind of experience from happening again, though, I have decided to take a vitamin D supplement religiously. Low levels start around 30 and my levels at the time of my hospital visit were 5.9. So kinda low ((insert eye roll)) and I have also adapted the Primal Blueprint / Lacto paleo diet which is amazingly simple to do and leaves me feeling very satisfied. I am hoping that taking care of my body will lower my chances of anything happening again. I appreciate prayers or well wishes or any positive thoughts you may have that I can stick to my eating plan and achieve better health - and this time not just for vanity (being thinner) but true actual health. I now understand exactly what that means. 

On that note, as I have had much time to rest I found new shows on Hulu to become addicted to. 

Selfie - I love this show. It is so original and off the wall and very blatantly (if not with great exaggeration) details how vain and yet anti-social our current young generations have become. Sadly, after I became attached I learned that it is being cancelled. #WTF ABC?

Jane the Virgin - This show reminds me of the best Spanish soap operas mixed with the best American dramedies. A virgin who is accidentally artificially inseminated when she goes for her pap-smear and the following events. I love the whole premise and the fact that her baby-daddy is completely HOT and of course that her father on the show was one of my favorite telenovela actors when I used to watch Spanish soap operas on Telemundo! Ironically enough he plays an actor in Spanish soap operas on the show. Hopefully this show doesn't get the boot like Selfie. I would be so bummed.

 . . . and of course I am still in love with all my other shows and wish I could binge watch them again and again without anyone worrying that I have a problem . . . Then again, maybe I do?

Anyway, that's all my drama for now. 

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