Thursday, July 31, 2014

It's the Hard Blog Life

Is blogging hard?

^^ that is the question ^^

I would venture to say that yes, blogging is hard for me for three reasons.

#1. No one understands being a blogger or the blogosphere/blogland like another blogger. I can talk about blogging and the immense community, and the friendships and bonds that are formed or how awesome it is to have X amount of hits every day or to get lots of feedback (ie comments) on a post. But if I happen to be talking to someone who has never blogged or read a blog a day in their life, they are going to look at me with this blank expression and nod stupidly. OR they are going to shake their heads emphatically and say that 'people put too much out there' and 'nothing is sacred anymore' or my favorite, 'what ever happened to meeting people in real life?'. There is literally no way to make them understand the connections people can make online through blogging. It is essentially pointless to try.




#2. I don't like keeping secrets, especially from my family and friends. BUT I feel like if I keep my blog completely uncensored that I have to because honestly, you can't keep everything uncensored from everyone. That would make for some seriously bitter, angry, sad feelings flying around. So, I have 2 options. Censor it to appease the audience and allow everyone and my their mother access OR keep it uncensored and do my damnedest to make sure no one who I love and that might get offended will read it. So, in the first scenario I am not being completely truthful with my blog audience and in the second scenario I am essentially hiding a portion of my life from people I love. WELL CRAP. Also, see #1.

#3. It takes away from my new found Breaking Bad addiction real life time spent in the real live world. If you don't get off your butt and away from the computer for a while, how could you possibly have anything interesting to blog about. On the flip side, since I'm a stay at home mom and it's summer, the highlight of my day is sneaking away and satiating my new found addiction to Breaking Bad going to the bathroom by myself -- so there really isn't a whole heck of a lot of 'real life' to be living. Oh sure, we go outside to play/chalk/destroy Nana's garden admire the garden. We go on movie outings and out to eat and we pay the freaking outrageous prices to go to indoor play parks all the time and then less frequently we go to outdoor parks for free . . . (yeah, my logic astounds me too) but the life I need to get away to, to have something interesting to blog about, isn't there and so I sit here, on my butt thinking about blog posts to write and reading other people's blogs thinking I should be out doing something . . . BUT THERE JUST ISN'T ANYTHING TO DOO!! #endrant

In the end, the truth is, it isn't really HARD to blog
It just isn't easy either



My brain hurts
I'm going to go watch Breaking Bad now

New favorite line,


Allieology




Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Confessions IV: Sorry, Not Sorry

I am putting way to much thought into this post
#sorrynotsorry

I don't even really know what 'sorry not sorry' means
#sorrynotsorry

It makes me think of all the bitchy girls I went to high school with
Who I would have liked to give a 'sorry not sorry' high five
to their face
with a chair
#sorrynotsorry




In other news

I accepted the 30 day squat and push-up challenge and have decided it's basically crap
because I could do on day 1 what they expect me to do on day 14
So, I'm making up my own challenge
#sorrynotsorry




I bitched out my ex husband yesterday AND today
via text
for reneging on a promise he made to our daughters
I don't feel even a little bit bad
#sorrynotsorry



Even though I generally despise it,
I like to use the eff word when I'm talking about or to him
#sorrynotsorry

Until I wrote this post I didn't realize that I thought the word SMUT
meant something that it does not mean
I found out when I googled 'smut gifs'
WHOOPS
but
#sorrynotsorry
(!¡Do Not Google That Shizz¡!)

I admit I am a reader and watcher of smut pointless sexy romances
Give me 50 Shades, the Bachelorette and Mistresses 
I want to watch and read ALL the smut  pointless sexy romances
#sorrynotsorry
(it may have something to do with my perpetually empty sex life)



I ate two extra portions of tortilla chips tonight
pushing me over my daily calorie limit
#sorrynotsorry
(ok, maybe a little sorry -- feelin' like a blimp)


"I'm only going to put the Vicks Vaporub on your feet,"
as I then proceed to slather it across her chest
"Nope, just making sure your hearts not racing with all that coughing," 
I explain when she whines that I'm rubbing it on her chest
She settled and isn't coughing anymore
I blatantly fibbed to my daughter
#sorrynotsorry
(it was for her own good)

I stare at myself in the mirror a lot
#sorrynotsorry



After picking vegetables from our veggie garden
and being told to go wash her hands and get her jammies on
I found Breezy in the bathroom stark naked washing not only her hands
but her butt cheek with my lemon hand soap
Me: "Are you washing your butt with my hand soap?"
Breezy: "Nope!"
Me: "Then why do you have soap on your butt cheek?"
Breezy looks like a deer in the headlights
and instead of reprimand her for lying
all I could do was laugh
#sorrynotsorry
(I did reprimand her later for the lying - not the butt washing)
personal hygiene is a good thing 
and not to be discouraged even if it is unconventional

I totally screw with telemarketers
every.day
It is one of my favorite past times
#sorrynotsorry



LASTLY

I hate the term hump day
seriously
#sorrynotsorry

Vodka and Soda

Allieology


Tuesday, July 29, 2014

I Love Me


I Love Me Tuesday

// I love my imagination and all the places it takes me to and the journeys it takes me on. (although it usually leaves me dangling in the middle of most journeys but that's beside the point) I always say if for any reason I was left with no one and nothing I might not go completely crazy because I would have all my book characters in my mind to keep me company . . . then again, maybe that means I'm already completely crazy?



// Though many tease me for 'talking too much' or 'using words too big for normal people' I love my ability to articulate mostly anything into verbal or written word. Mostly written because when I talk I stumble and sometimes stutter but if I feel confident - and not nervous, I can speak just as well as I can write.



// I love that I can see humor, beauty and/or the silver lining in most things. Don't get me wrong. I obviously have my fair share of woe is me and pity party and 'I'm just gonna die' type days . . .  as documented in this blog. But for the most part I can find the good in most situations especially since my God is in all my situations and He is inherently good. Always.



// I love that I am opinionated and know what I like and what I don't like. That I know what is right and what is wrong. What is good and what is bad. I love that I am not a wishy washy, every shade of gray type person. I am generally black or white on any given topic. Of course, like all things there are exception but, as a rule I pretty much know distinctly how I feel about most things.



// I love that I am technologically savvy. When I was around 11 and computers and AOL and dial up modems were the common technology I would seriously mess around with the computer all day long to see how it worked and what made it do certain things. Because of my fearlessness when it came to trial and error with technology I can now fix almost any software or external hardware issue that arises with desktops, laptops, tablets and cellular phones.


Other things I love about me:
Let me count the ways



Nah, Just kidding
Happy Tuesday 



Allieology

Monday, July 28, 2014

It's Been a Year

Some may think I am writing this because I miss what was
Or I am a glutton for reliving the painful past
BUT
THIS TIME
I am going back in time
To the beginning of now
To the beginning of 
FREEDOM



A year ago as of yesterday
(7-27-13)
I wrote this

On the 22nd of July there was a situation that occurred between my ex and myself with my daughters present that left me shell shocked and my children fearful of their father. Words were spoken by him that sent my mind reeling and then he did something that I never could have imagined he would do. He stole my trust, my daughters' trust and he replaced it with a horrific memory and fear.
Now I am picking up the pieces. My daughters don't understand. They are confused and hurt and understandably sad, especially Sassy. I am shocked. I used to think I knew where he drew his lines and where his limits stood. I don't know anymore. I too, am confused and angry because my daughters never should have had to witness something like they did. There was no justifiable reason and now, that cycle that I reverted to for my entire life has been decimated. To return to it at this point would be one step past insanity even though from a third party viewpoint it probably passed that line a long time ago.
I have to pick up the pieces and pretend I know what I am doing as I put back together a life that was never 100% mine. Now it is. There will be no more egg shell walking, submitting, cow towing, or kissing anyone's ass. No more chores or errands or favors to be done. No more looking for 'good' excuses why I don't want to do something or go somewhere. No more feeling like a little girl who needs to do 'the big man's bidding'. It is just me and my girls now.
And in the process of filling in the grooves and cracks of my life with healthy things and positivity where once it was filled with nothing but worry and despair and sadness and grief, I have to do the same for my girls. It is a heavy load to carry. Until you have experienced your peace being torn away from you by blatant malice and selfishness, no one can truly appreciate the difficulty and the burden of keeping oneself calm while trying to pacify and make the children who just don't understand it all content ... happy ... fulfilled ... alive ... and there is no other choice but to do it because I love them and their happiness and fulfillment depends on me.

Now
One year and one day later
I am peaceful
I feel as if our lives are essentially happy
fulfilled
content



The Mr. traipses in and out of our lives
at his leisure
but instead of a mess of emotions
left in his stead
my girls and I have built a three-person-strong fortress
of love, compassion and encouragement for one another
(Yes, my girls hug me and hold me and tell me everything will be okay when I am sad and it is one of the most beautifully pure and genuine things I have ever experienced)
They tell me when it makes them sad
I am there for them
I tell them that it's okay to be sad
But always remind them that it is not and has never been their fault
Their daddy's actions 
speak only of his character and person
not theirs
Because they are wonderful
valuable
beautiful
little human beings
And no one
much less their own father
has the right to take their belief in that away from them



So on this day
366 days later
I thank God for everything He has done
Everything He has set before me
Everything He has brought me through
and everything that is to come in the future
Mostly, I thank Him for the strength He has given me
and the innate love my daughter's feel for Him
and everything He does for us



Hi, I Like to Squat + 3 Photos

I have been doing a self imposed squat challenge
(I have gone from 30 every day to 45 every day *woot!* with my goal being 100 every day)
and I have discovered
That I like to squat
No, I LOVE to squat


I want a big butt and I cannot lie
(big like that girl^^, not wide and flat like the one I currently have)
I can feel all my muscles working
And I love how strong I feel --
Until, I'm done
Then I love how noodly my legs feel



And the intense ache the next day
Until I do the squats again and stretch out the muscle
It is a rejuvenating feeling
Now I just hope it helps the circulation and swelling in my ankle
One can hope

Onward . . . 

So, 

THREE PICTURES 

One of anything


Mr. Pierce does not understand the concept of personal space
And so while Breezy slowly slid off the couch
he decided that would be the perfect time 
to make her chest his new nap space

Photographic evidence #2 
of the aforementioned



One I took
(who am I kidding? I take every photo I post because no one else in my family is as photo obsessed as me)



This is my most favorite-ist-er-ist picture I have ever taken
EVER
Other photos from that day



aaand, 

One of Me aka a 'Selfie'
(it didn't specify that it had to be a selfie from today so I'll do one from May and one - or two - from today)


Drivin' Sassy to one of her last days of school in May


Tonight, with smeared raccoon makeup and tired red eyes
Sittin' here thinking that it's 1am and I need to go to bed
and not taking selfies alone in the dark(ish-ness) like a dork


So, g'night
or g'mornin'
or somethin'

Oh.just.click.the.link.below

Allieology


Sunday, July 27, 2014

The Dollhouse Tea Room

Yesterday we celebrated Sassy's and Breezy's birthdays
Sassy's was in June
Breezy's is early August
So, a joint birthday in July is logical, right?

It was so.much.fun.
40+ minutes away from home
but so.much.fun
K, I'll stop saying so.much.fun now


The outside of the tea-room
was actually the cutest refurbished house 




Umm,
kinda white trash welcome on the front door
But whatevs
The inside more than made up for it


ALL.THE.CLOTHES


 !!FOR DRESS UP!!


*The five girls were so patient as each got their hair and makeup done*
Because there was only one girl to do it ALL


GETTIN' THEIR HURRS N MAKEUP DID
(Yeah, I don't do that well. Don't.Judge.Me)


ANGEL BABY


Princess Party of 5!!



^ THE QUEEN OF HEARTS ^
and boy, does my Breezy play the part well




!! TEA TIME !!





Nothin' like a pic in front of the terlit




Each girl has their own teapot and teacup
Which held either chocolate milk or pink lemonade ('Tea')
The little glass slippers held M&Ms
And the two birthday girls had a servant bell to ring 
when anyone needed something
They used it often

They were also served petit egg salad and PB&J sandwiches
and chicken nuggets
on multi-tiered bone china
as well as
pickles, carrots and olives in hors d'oeuvres cups






These cupcakes were de-lish
and of course in the girls' respective favorite colors
of pink and purple



The Birthday Princesses
on their thrones
prepared to receive their gifts 


The Princess court
prepared to watch


And after all was said and done they got to pick some
'treasure'
from a treasure box
and then it was


TIME.TO.GO.HOME

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