Sunday, January 18, 2015

He Loves Me Most

ON THIS SUNDAY 

 // I am feeling terribly, emotionally nostalgic and melancholy
I WANT TO GO BACK AND RELIVE SOME OF MY MOST PRECIOUS MEMORIES




// I feel kinda jipped out of Christmas this year
- it just went so dang fast
- I feel like I didn't have any time to do anything I usually do
*baking at my own leisure
*listening to Christmas carols by my grandparents' fireplace
*Going to look at Christmas Lights on other peoples' houses
*Wandering the mall while the kids were in school
(I had so much looked forward to this one and I never did it)
I WANT A DO-OVER



// I feel like the days are racing each other
- One moment it is September and school has just started



- and the next moment it is almost the end of January 2015
I JUST WANT TO FREEZE TIME



// I am feeling very lonely these days
- Even though I know neither I or my children have time or a place for someone new
- I am missing being held
- I am missing being kissed
- I miss being loved
SO, I TURN TO GOD IN PRAYER THAT HE WILL HELP ME WITH THESE NEEDS 
and I am reminded that He is all I need

"My dear {Kristen} , I created you. I formed you. Fear not for I have redeemed you. I have called you by name. You are mine. When you pass through the waters, I’ll be with you. The waters won’t overwhelm you. When you walk through fire, you won’t be burned. And the flame shall not consume you. I am the Lord your God, your savior. The holy one. You are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you. Fear not for I am with you. I created you for my glory. I formed you and made you. I want you to know and believe me and understand that I am he. The Lord. There was none before me and none will come after me. Don’t remember the pains of the past, I am doing new things. I formed you so you would praise me. You aren’t giving me all your heart, you aren’t satisfied in me, instead you have burdened me with your sins. But I am your God. I blot out your transgressions for my own sake. I will not remember your sins. Love, Your heavenly Father"

Last night by Skillet on Grooveshark
If you humor me and listen to the song I posted above
It is the song that has shattered me in the best of ways 
for several weeks now
 every.time.I.hear.it
I am reminded who loves me most
"This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere you want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything you need me to be"
May He be everywhere you want Him to be
and may He be everything you need Him to be . . . 




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