Monday, January 26, 2015

The Struggle is {STILL} Real

The struggle known as elimination of wheat products

And yet, I continue to restart the struggle over every few weeks just to keep my body on its toes . . . 

Or something.
Actually, I think I am seriously messing with my body and I need to 

You see, I get on this Primal Blueprint trip and I succeed for three weeks
I look at all the cakes and cookies and bread and think
and then I 
and then I roll around on the ground in indescribable pain
Not to mention my head gets super cloudy
I have more frequent panic attacks
My ankles swell to kingdom come
And I generally just feel like I'm
(Truly, this is not an exaggeration)

*I am not just saying I am not exaggerating either. Upon consumption of wheat products my body literally takes a nose dive in the health department. I go from visible ankle bones to cankles maximus. I go from a less significant belly girth to an extremely pronounced one. I go from moisturized and rejuvenating skin to dry, cracked, peeling elephant skin and that's just on the surface. Physically inside my stomach hurts, my heart races, my lungs feel like they are slowly filling with phlegm. I feel lethargic and irritable. I get headaches not only behind my eyes but in the back of my head. My teeth start to hurt and sometimes I even have a hard time taking sufficient breath. Then come the psychological reactions. On the Primal Blueprint diet I had ONE anxiety episode. When I am eating wheat, I have at least ONE EPISODE EVERY DAY if not more than once a day. An episode goes something like this. I am sitting there, feeling meh and then my heart starts to race. I feel like I just ran a mile non-stop. My breathing increases except I feel like I am not getting sufficient oxygen. Panic sets in and my mind starts to race which causes my heart rate to speed up further, causing my breathing to become more erratic. Often my head starts to spin from hyperventilation. I feel like I might lose consciousness or even more scary stop breathing all together as my windpipe feels like it is swelling in my throat. IT IS THE SCARIEST EXPERIENCE EVER. Like a mixture of a heart attack and a mental break down rolled all together into one hot mess of a person . . . *

For the past three days I have been eating all the breads and pastas
(^Holy hell, PAIN^)
Not a good idea
Not even in the slightest

So today I have hopped back up on that wagon
It isn't about weight loss
It is about well being
True health
Mental and any other there might be
I had 3 eggs scrambled in butter for breakfast
Coffee with 2 TBSP creamer and a packet of Stevia 
(Note to self: one packet is much too sweet. 1/2 packet is sufficient)
I had beef chilli with corn tortillas for lunch
and for dinner I will have meat loaf, boiled potato and broccoli with mayo

Not even a smidge of wheat in that mix
And tomorrow I will start to feel better
and within a few days I should be able to see my ankle bones again
and I will remind myself of how I feel like I'm dying when I eat wheat
I will remind myself that even though I may not actually be dying
I don't want to die in the near future
I want to live a long happy life for and with my girls
This will be my mantra

1 comment :

  1. I can believe it. Some people just have a really low tolerance for certain foods. I can't do dairy. Mostly milk and soft cheeses. They tear me up in ways I dare not describe -- horrifying really. What you have to remind yourself with the wheat is that it's always there. You can have it anytime you want. Then ask yourself if you really DO want it. That's the thing. Once you get it in your head that you can have it whenever you want it because it's always there and isn't a NO NO, it makes it so much easier. You go this! Hope it passes quickly and you feel better!


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