Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Confessions - Just Call Me Grumpy Pants

// Have you ever heard the expression parents of yester-era used when scolding their children for misbehaving, "I'm going to string you up by your toes/ears/fingernails!"

Yeah, well, with all the meltdowns Sassy has been having I would like to just string myself up by the toes/ears/fingernails  . . . in a nice, quiet, solitary, dark place. Just 20 minutes of peace hanging by a string from a body part where someone isn't crying, whining, yelling or complaining. That would be more peaceful than this current space of ridiculous chaotic nonsense I am living in.

// Do you remember the post HERE where I detailed my compassionate and nostalgic feelings for Mr. A 
(aka my ex husband)?  

SCREW THAT!

I have been b*tch slapped back into the present and reality

In the post below (if you don't read Spanish) the first text says

"I would like to talk to my beautiful daughters before they sleep."

Essentially this would be normal except I had told him previously that the girls are busy Monday through Thursday and so if he would like to talk to them on Friday or Saturday that would be better. (He sent this text on a Monday) 
So, I wasn't paying attention to my phone. I shouldn't have to be hanging on it waiting for anyone to text me.

Half hour past the girl's bedtime he texts me again.
Really? 

"Senora, it has been two weeks since you have passed me to my daughters."

Well, actually the last two weeks they have had absolutely no interest in talking to you.
Not to mention he calls me Senora. Now to English speakers Senora simply means Mrs. But to Spanish speakers, especially between people who used to be spouses (especially him and me) Senora is a way for him to derogatorily call me old lady and make sure that I know he has disconnected emotionally. Fine. Disconnect. But do NOT call me that.







You can obviously read my response and he very maturely responds to me with:

"I don't feel like calling you by your name Senora."

He's trying to get under my skin. 11 years with him and I know this, so I'm DONE!
Raise my proverbial texting hands and surrender to complete ridiculous insanity that has always been him. I ask him not to text me again and he responds with this nugget of WISDOM.

"I do it for my daughters. I don't do it for you and I don't want to bother you either.You shouldn't go to church anymore because your heart is full of resentment and trash. I listen to the Word of God every day and I am more humble and I love God more and He has changed me inside. If I have problems now they won't conquer me and I'm going to show you. He is with me and you will see that very soon."

He has been telling me this for years now. How full of hatred and ugliness and evil my heart is. And how I should never step a foot inside of church lest God smite me on the spot for my despicable nature. 



And I don't know if you feel or hear the hidden threat in there, but I do. There is always a threat in everything he says to me. If you truly didn't catch it, to him I am the problem and he is telling me that I can no longer conquer him (Gee, I haven't been trying) and that he will show me (inevitably trying to take my daughters from me) and I will see the fruits of that labor very soon. 

// I confess that this interaction affected me deeply, as if it were the first time it ever happened. And then I went to sleep and I woke up and remembered that he is wrong. He doesn't know me. He doesn't know what he's talking about. He has purposely not seen his daughters in over one and a half years (because he refuses to follow the parenting plan) and THAT ISN'T ON ME. It's on him. 

// I confess that I am tired of hearing people complain. All.The.Time. 
Just be happy in the skin you're in, in the life you're in, in the situation you're in and if you can't be CHANGE IT and if you can't CHANGE IT seek help to CHANGE IT

// I confess that even though it is only mid-school year 2014/2015 I have already registered, re-enrolled and applied for class requests for my daughters for the 2015/2016 year. Control freak much? Me? Nahhhh . . . 

// I confess that I walked on the treadmill the last two nights (because I have only had it the last two nights) for 45 minutes and an hour respectively and I feel great (albeit, a bit sore)

// I confess I was sad when I stepped on the scale this morning and it was the same as yesterday. I'll get over it. I have to remember either not to weigh every day or not to be disappointed when there are stalls. I can't lose something every.single.day. Noted self. 

// I confess that as I am typing I have to pee so badly that I am in fear of soiling my pants, which would be bad because I have to wear them to Spanish class and I don't think the students or the teachers or anyone whose path I cross would appreciate the stench of urine wafting through the school halls. 

SO ON THAT CHEERY NOTE
I shall go pee

Happy Humpday People

May your week be short
and may your bladder last until you reach the toilet

Making Melissa


8 comments :

  1. How frustrating about your ex-husband, I am sorry that you are having to deal with him being disrespectful and sending between-the-lines threats. I had to laugh at that last line, "may your bladder last until you reach the toilet"! Too true :D

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    1. More than often the last line is my mantra . . . :) I can't imagine the incontinence if I had more than two kids. Haha :)

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  2. haha I am dying at your last text to him! In English no less. Hope he got the point. In all seriousness Im so sorry you have to go through that stress with the ex. Cant be easy!

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    1. That is the problem with this man. The point sails right over his head and would come back to poke him in the butt if it was built like a boomerang. One of the MANY reasons our marriage ended. 'Tis life :)

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  3. Well my his logic I should burst into flames when entering a church and so far no one has has to call the fire department. Oye Glad your able to work on the distancing now. I hope it gets easier each time.

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    1. Haha, I kinda giggled when you said 'his logic' . . . somehow he and logic just don't belong in the same sentence together unless the sentence says he is devoid of logic. Thankfully I have been able to distance myself. The 'show' he put on in July 2013 really sealed the deal for me of how awful a human being he actually was/is. How ironic that he sees me as the evil one, right? :P It is what it is.

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  4. Oh mercy... I'm so sorry you have to deal with someone who isn't willing to at least work with you. I've heard some awful 'ex' stories... yours is up there with the best of them :(

    Don't let the scale get you down... stress does a lot to a body. Give it some time before you check that number again

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  5. Peeing is such a waste of time! Seriously. It's such a commitment!
    I understand the pain of not seeing the scale move and it's so frustrating... just like people that complain like it's the only thing they know how to do. Seriously, at what point do you ask yourself, if you have all these things wrong with your life, there's probably a catalyst and it might be you? Arggghh stupid people slay me!

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