Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Most Horrible 'As Seen on TV Products'

After having been subjected to THIS article I got to thinking about all the really dumb things I have seen being sold with the 'As Seen on TV' logo. Poofume (reference article linked above) is just one and the author there more than eloquently absolves the claim that any kind of topical treatment could or should mask the smell of our defecation(s?).

That being said, these other 'As Seen on TV Products' don't exactly scream GENIUS either. In fact, some of them are so asinine and ridiculous you almost want to get one for the mere novelty of it. Then you can say, "I saw this really stupid product and it was just so stupid I had to buy it." Okay, it sounded better in my head and if anyone said this out loud they should not be offended when people slowly step away in the opposite direction and then turn and run from all the crazy.


KUSH SUPPORT

Because everyone woman wants to lodge a questionable looking item between her boobs while she sleeps.




THE TUSH TURNER

360 degrees! Really?! Wow! Except um, won't the back of the chair impede that full rotation and if so, then won't I need a stool and not a chair and in that case why don't I buy a stool instead of the Tush Turner. The questions are multiplying the more I ask . . .




PORTABLE SAUNA

Because I love to whip out on a whim the product that is going to make me sweat and smell in all the placed. Not to mention would anyone ever clean such a thing because OMG how disgusting if not! Repeat after me, Formunda Cheese is NOT for Me!




GO PILOT PORTABLE URINAL

Just in case you have the habit of taking long jaunts where no gas station or restaurant can be found for hundreds of miles. Just whip out your erotic looking gas can, stick your pr*ck in the hole of the snake like hose and release to your heart's content. If I were I guy I know I would . . . 

**And by the way 'the female adapter' is now available too! IT'S TRUE!



UROCLUB

And just in case your handy dandy Go Pilot Portable Urinal won't do the trick because it is 'too conspicuous' when standing on the putting green or the driving range or just chillin' next your golf cart, pull out your handy dandy UROCLUB, tuck that 'sheathing towel' into your pants, unzip, place and release . . . Because THAT wouldn't be conspicuous AT ALL.



And I think my favorite (or least favorite) thing is




THE LONG REACH COMFORT WIPE

Because some people have tyrannosaurus rex length arms or maybe you wipe from the front and your butt is halfway up your back. Either way, I am certain that someone out there needs a 15.25" (that's right, it's over a foot long) toilet brush to wipe themselves.  






2 comments :

  1. Ummm, no. To everything. Don't knock Poo-Pouri though. That stuff works, and smells amazing. It's got a lemongrass scent and our really is awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  2. OH MY GOSH... I laughed so hard this morning. That lady? Wipe Yo A** ... there's your best spokesperson ever...
    Who actually buys these things??!?!

    ReplyDelete

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