I had thought about creating a blog on a different platform. I even went as far as actually creating it, I thought that a new start would put me in a better frame of mind but I quickly realized that it doesn't matter what platform I blog from. It doesn't even matter what I blog. What matters is the effort I put into this weight loss thing.
I have had quite a few wake up calls about my weight lately. GERD, tummy troubles, anxiety, IBS, and fatigue are just the tip of the iceberg. In addition I cannot climb or descend stairs anymore without intense pain in my left knee. I cannot sit comfortably in ANY armed chairs. The stomach that I swore would never touch my thighs TOUCHES MY THIGHS. In small public restroom stalls I have a hard time spreading my legs wide enough to wipe. My body hurts no matter how I lay down and so I sleep sitting up. My biggest pair of pants are TIGHT. Nothing tastes good anymore and the list goes on and on and on.
I have been here before. I have sworn up and down how I was going to lose the weight and this time is no different. With every good intentional fiber of my being I am going to deliberately lose this weight. Some odd months ago I would say I needed to lose 200lbs to be at my ultimate weight of 130lbs. I can no longer say that. I now need to lose a whopping 220lbs. In 2010 I went from 325 to 269 and then over those 5 years I steadily gained back not only what I lost but 25lbs more and sometimes even above that if I am having a particularly bad day with water retention.
I am going to DIE if I don't do something about this. I am literally going to DIE.
And that just isn't acceptable.