Sunday, January 24, 2016

A Hard Time Letting Go

My ex husband and I have been on awesomely civil and completely platonic terms lately and I keep thinking to myself how much better friends we make than spouses or lovers. When sex is eliminated from the equation I found we actually have quite a bit to talk about. Our kids obviously are the main topic but we also have similar interests in foods, music, traveling etc. For several months now we had been just chugging along with our bad selves getting along and everything was hunky dory.

Then his big.bad.hernia came into play and suddenly he needed me to help him at the doctors with interpretation (because even though I am not competent enough professionally, I am totally competent enough to translate for my ex husband) We spent two weeks together almost every day going here and there for exams and cat scans, MRIs, consultations etc. We got pretty close, all the while remaining 100% platonic.

During this time of his big.bad.hernia he was on some medications for the pain. Medication he was supposed to take and NOT DRIVE. Well, being the rebel without a cause that he is, HE DROVE, and do you know what happened? He got in an accident and as if that wasn't bad enough, his insurance had expired about a week before. So, now he has his big.bad.hernia, an un-insured motorist accident AND about $1500 in damages to his car. He took his car to the shop with the help of one of his nephews and all was good because, hey, he has another car . . . which upon trying to turn it on DIED. He took it to the same guy who was fixing his other vehicle to find that to fix everything that was wrong with the second car it would cost him about $1800. (deep sigh)

Then as the saying goes, when it rains it pours, he gets sick and not just runny nose, sore throat, cold with a fever kind of sick . . . but all out vomiting, high fever, body cramps, severe flu kinda sick. Which brings us to yesterday morning which is about two days past the peak of his illness. He is finally starting to get better and I get a phone call from him. Sassy answers and I tell her to tell him I can't talk because I had just spilled melted frozen strawberry juice all over the wood floor and I needed to clean it up before it stained. Well, apparently it was life or death because he told Sassy he needed to talk to me NOW. He hasn't done that in a very long time.

A little back story. My ex husband lives with one of his nephews. He has three here in the United States. The one he lives with. The one who helped him with his car and another one who likes to be unto himself and doesn't play a huge role in any of our lives. That being said, the nephew who he lives with is quite the heathen and has been for as long as I can remember. A very ill-tempered, hot blooded, mean spirited, sarcastic and negative individual with nothing nice to say about anything. Well, my ex husband had mentioned while he was sick that this nephew had been acting strangely, saying strange things and doing even stranger things. My ex husband didn't think much of it, but in the back of his mind he thought the behavior was much like his brother who had started having psychotic episodes before being moved back to Mexico.

That being said, come to find out, the night before last, his nephew had called 911 citing that people were coming to kill him and that he was going to kill himself. The ambulance and police came and took him the the ER where he was admitted and is now being held for mental instability. His case was elevated to being held against his will due to mental instability and now he is refusing to take the medication that calms him. I am running relay translation for my ex husband over the phone and then out of nowhere while I am talking to my ex he says, 'Don't you want to get back together so the girls can have the love of their father with them every day?'

And the rose colored glasses have been taken off. Reality has returned and once again I am faced with letting go . . . It is so very hard for me. But I can't keep doing this . . .


  1. Wow.......thank you for this post. My ex and I have been getting along fairly well too (amazing how that happens when the rigors of marriage are removed!). Your post reminded me to tread lightly and carefully.

  2. Holy Hannah girl! I just happen over here because I read your comment from Runs for Cookies. I started reading this post and just thought it can't keep going or getting worse but boy, kind of crazy.

    I guess kind of crazy literally and also kind of crazy..."You just can't make that stuff up".

    You sound grounded through it all....keep need to be stable for the girls. ;-)

  3. Thank you for your comment. Yes, where my ex is involved the ground is never stable and I once had that emblazoned on my mind. It's time I remember again. Thanks for checking in and I see you have a blog also, so I'll go check it out ;)


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