Friday, May 20, 2016

My Heart Breaks ...

Today is a sad day in our family. In February there was an engagement and throughout these past three months we were planning and day dreaming and getting ready for the big day ... the wedding. Magazines and websites and ideas galore were poured over, meticulously choosing what was good and what was not. The bride and bridesmaids and flower girls' dresses were bought, the groom and groomsmen's suit colors were chosen, engagement photos were taken, invitations were picked out, a wedding website set up, decorations were chosen and being handmade, music was being selected, photos were being collected for a slideshow during the reception, the church was designated, the pastor picked and marital counseling scheduled. The date was set.

 My heart breaks for her because today - a day that I think will mark the bride's heart for the rest of her life - she let us know that the wedding has been cancelled. The relationship has been irreparably broken and the groom cannot even speak to her ... But not because of what she has said or done. Rather because of what he has done. He broke the trust. He broke the promise and he soiled and wrinkled the pristine piece of white paper that was their relationship. He can't undo it. He can't take it back and the worst part is he planned to lie about it through omission. He planned to let the bride marry him with this burden on his shoulders, in his mind, and in his heart. She isn't a crier and as she related the news to us her eyes did not well. Her tone remained even and her voice steady but I could see it in her expression, and in the almost imperceptible tremble of her thin fingers. She is shaken ... to the core.

This was the man she had planned to spend the rest of her life with. She planned to have children with him. She had planned their future. And now it is just gone. Being a soft hearted and easily conflicted person, she is worried that she is throwing it all away for something that others might see as trivial. She hurts for him, knowing that he is suffering because he knows he hurt her. She worries a lot; about life and her choices in it. I assured her, in this situation, she made the very best decision. A couple cannot base their marriage on the foundation of distrust and deception. She has heard this from everyone she trusts but still doesn't trust her own judgement. My heart truly breaks for her.


  1. This is so sad. Prayers up for her.

  2. Reassure her that while others may find it's obviously important t her and if he would do it to her before the wedding it would have only gotten worse after the weeding.


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