Thursday, December 22, 2016

The Fat Mother

I haven't been around these parts in a while
I HAVE spent a lot of time making new great friends
I HAVE spent a lot of time volunteering at my kids' school
and
I HAVE spent a lot of time NOT losing weight

BUT HERE IS WHY THAT SUCKS

  • I have had more anxiety in the last year than ever before
  • I have had more opportunities that I had to turn down due to my weight for one reason or another than ever before
  • For the first time ever my children had to wait an extremely long amount of time to eat at a restaurant because I couldn't fit in the available booths and we had to wait for a table with chairs
  • I have on several occasions had to ask for either special seating, handicap seating or a completely separate seat due to the width of my backside at theater and movie events
  • I have on several occasions truly wondered if the anxiety I was experiencing was an actual heart attack - today being a prime example when my entire airway completely closed up, I got chills and my heart started thudding crazily ... NOT.COOL
  • I see other people who started losing weight in 2010 when I initially started who have been in maintenance for a very long time and I mentally kick myself
    (because, you know, my physical heal can't actually reach my own ass due to the vast circumference of my thighs)
  • And as if all that isn't enough, I now weight officially what I weighed when I was pregnant with Breezy ((head in hands))
Maybe 2017 will be better for my goals
I don't make promises to anyone anymore
Maybe 2017 I will be able to stay on track
Again I won't make promises
But I will try
I can't ever stop trying

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